November 3rd, 2009



All you lucky bastards out there, I wished my parents scold me like they do to you.

You must be thinking, "Why?"

Well, have you actually heard your parents sigh at you? The sigh that indicates that they've lost all hope in you, that you're hopeless, that you're stupid beyond hope?

You should try being me.

She said, "I saw your report book, your results are horrendous. With this kind of results, you only can go to ITE."

You have no idea how much that hurt.

Fine, I know that I'm not smart, I'm no genius. But was there really the need to say that? Yes, I may still be young, but that doesn't mean that words like these won't hurt me. Every time, you and him would take turns to criticise me, to put me down.

You claimed that I've not worked hard, fine I'll admit that. But have you ever thought that, it's your words that are discouraging me? Every time you say something like that, I would think, "So what if I try? I would just fail anyway."
When I did bother trying, when I did bother working hard, have you ever acknowledge that fact?

No, you haven't.

You just keep harping on the fact that I've not tried enough. But how much exactly is enough?

All I ask for, is just your words of encouragement. Even if I didn't do well, I'd really appreciate it if you just said 'Try harder next time' or 'At least you improved in so and so subject!' But no, I could never expect that of you.
I used to be so bad at Geography, but did you see that I almost passed? Did you see my English and Chinese results?

No, of course you didn't. If you had, you wouldn't have said those words to me.

One of my friends, who was on the brink of getting retained, had his parents words of encouragement, telling him to study harder next year, so that he'd do well in his O'levels.

But what about you? Have you ever encouraged me? No.

I'm sorry I can't live up to your expectations.
I'm sorry I'm not smart enough.


Now I know why she ran away, now I know the circumstances she's faced.
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